Sat 27th feb... Im very tired I dont know is it physical or emotional or both!! I cant explain what it is like really. Its on my mind most of the time and I tried finding my own answers online but what I found only scared me all the more so I think maybe I wont do that again. I dread any twinge now and the constant feeling of dread is going to stay with me to the end. Even the simple tasks of normal life seem pointless. I want to kick, scream, lash out but I cant, if I start I might not stop. I try not to think too much of the baby inside me and how it must be withering away like a flower that is dying and I cant do anything about it. If I could just see what is going on inside my own body maybe I could get more of an understanding of what is going on. A million times I ask myself how can I be the only one this has happened to??? How is it that in this day and age the doctors have never experienced this and how is it possible they do not know what to do to "fix" me??? What will the outcome of all this be??? How long will this go on for before some doctor finds the answers??? Is there a doctor even looking for an answer or will I be stuck in a warped reality for god knows how long! It crosses my mind that maybe I can ignore what is going on and it will go away but that seems almost as crazy as the situation Im in now. All the questions and no answers....