Monday 8th March.... Still very tired... cant face a lot of people. Find I cant get to sleep at night am awake just lying there with thoughts and questions going through my head. Midwife rang me today asking how I felt I couldnt help but laugh. She said to come in on Wednesday for more blood tests and they didnt have any results from last week as they had nothing to camoare them to which makes sense I suppose. She asked if I felt ok and was anything happening and I was going to go into a whole big conversation about my week just to keep her hanging on and pay her back for asking such dopey questions but I didnt have the energy!!!! Truth be told Im sick of it its 3 weeks tomorrow and Im still waiting for that closure. Part of me is thinking well as long as Little Boo is in me I still have my baby close and Im dreading the day I finally "lose" my baby but then part of me is wanting to just get see the end and I can try to move on. Its very hard to describe what its like, Im pregnant but Im not pregnant, Im 24 weeks tomorrow but Im not. I should be getting kicked around the place but there is nothing only stillness and my mind playing tricks. When Im out it feels like everyone is looking at me and the ones that dont know what happened ask how are things with the baby and sometimes I find myself lying and smiling saying all is good and just for a while I can pretend all is as it should be and Ill have a lovely little baby in a couple of months time... Its nice to pretend....